ABA Therapy: Helpful or Harmful?
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What is ABA Therapy? Pros, Benefits, and Controversies
If you’re just starting out on your child’s autism journey, you’ve probably already heard the term ABA therapy from your doctor—or you soon will. When I first came across it, I wasn’t sure what to think. I asked our speech therapist, spent hours scrolling through autism parent pages, and quickly realized how divided parents can be. Some parents told me ABA therapy changed their child’s life. Others warned me to stay away. I felt confused, torn between wanting to give my child every chance to succeed and worrying about making the wrong decision.
If you’re in that place right now, you’re not alone. Let’s walk through it together. ABA therapy—Applied Behavior Analysis—is one of the most common therapies recommended for autistic children. It has passionate supporters and vocal critics, and like many things in the autism world, the truth is more complex than a simple yes or no.
Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) Therapy: Pros and Controversies
ABA therapy looks at how behaviors work, how they are affected by the environment, and how learning happens. ABA programs break skills into small, manageable steps and reinforce positive behaviors with rewards—anything from verbal praise to tokens to playtime.
Therapists often work one-on-one with children, focusing on goals such as:
- Improving communication (words, gestures, or alternative methods)
- Building social skills like taking turns or making eye contact
- Teaching daily living skills, like brushing teeth or getting dressed
- Reducing behaviors that may be unsafe or harmful, like self-injury or running away
The structure and consistency of ABA therapy can be very helpful for kids who thrive on routine and clear expectations.
The Benefits of ABA Therapy
Many families find ABA therapy helps their child make meaningful progress, especially in challenging areas.
Some of the benefits include:
- Skill Building: ABA therapy can help children develop practical communication, social, and self-help skills that make daily life easier.
- Research-Backed: ABA therapy is the most extensively studied autism therapy, and many professionals consider it evidence-based and effective.
- Individualized Plans: A good ABA therapy program tailors goals to your child’s specific strengths and challenges, rather than using a one-size-fits-all approach.
- Parent Training: Many ABA therapy programs involve parents directly, giving you tools to reinforce strategies at home.
I’ve seen ABA therapy help kids learn to express their needs, reduce meltdowns, and gain independence in daily routines. For some families, these changes make a huge difference in quality of life.
The Controversies Around ABA Therapy
Despite its popularity, ABA therapy is not without controversy. In fact, this is where many parents feel stuck—hearing glowing reviews from one side and passionate criticism from the other.
Criticism From the Autistic Community
Many autistic adults who went through ABA therapy in its earlier, more rigid forms have since spoken out. They describe feeling pressured to suppress natural behaviors like stimming, forced to make eye contact, and trained to appear “normal” rather than supported in their authentic selves. For some, this led to masking—hiding who they truly were—which can contribute to anxiety, depression, and burnout later in life.
- Compliance vs. Autonomy: Traditional ABA has been criticized for focusing too heavily on making children “compliant.” For example, forcing eye contact or discouraging stimming (self-soothing movements like hand-flapping) may teach children to “look typical” but can ignore their comfort and needs.
- Voices of Autistic Adults: Many autistic adults who experienced ABA as children have spoken out, saying it made them feel like they had to mask or hide who they were, rather than being accepted. These voices are important to listen to.
- Quality Varies Widely: Not all ABA providers use the same approach. Some are rigid and highly structured, while others are flexible, play-based, and child-led. The experience can look very different depending on the therapist and agency.
- Time-Intensive: ABA programs can be 20–40 hours a week. For some families, that feels overwhelming, and for some children, it may feel exhausting.
A Balanced Approach
So where does that leave us as parents? Here’s what I’ve learned:
ABA, like any therapy, is a tool. It can be helpful in building skills, but it’s not the only option—and it should never come at the cost of your child’s well-being.
If you’re considering ABA, here are a few things to think about:
- Observe a Session: Ask to watch an ABA session before enrolling. How does the therapist interact with the child? Do they show respect and patience? Do they allow breaks when the child is overwhelmed?
- Ask Questions: What goals will they set for your child? Do those goals feel meaningful (like communication and independence), or are they about making your child “look typical”?
- Trust Your Gut: You know your child best. If something doesn’t sit right, it’s okay to pause, speak up, or explore other therapies.
- Look for Child-Led Practices: Some ABA providers now use a more naturalistic approach, blending play and flexibility instead of rigid drills. These can be gentler and more enjoyable for children.
Final Encouragement
ABA can feel like a loaded topic, and in many ways, it is. Some families swear by it; others walk away. The truth is that there is no single “right” therapy for every child.
If you’re considering ABA, take the time to explore, observe, and ask questions. Listen to your child’s response to therapy—because at the end of the day, their comfort and growth matter most.
Remember: therapy should never be about “fixing” your child. It should be about supporting them in learning, growing, and thriving as the unique person they already are.
If you’d like to hear perspectives directly from autistic adults, I recommend checking out the autistic-led group Autism Inclusivity.
